man judges； but far more wisely。 I did wrong： I would have sullied my innocent flower—breathed guilt on its purity： the Omnipotent snatched it from me。 I； in my stiff…necked rebellion； almost cursed the dispensation： instead of bending to the decree； I defied it。 Divine justice pursued its course； disasters came thick on me： I was forced to pass through the valley of the shadow of death。 His chastisements are mighty； and one smote me which has humbled me for ever。 You know I was proud of my strength： but what is it now； when I must give it over to foreign guidance； as a child does its weakness？ Of late； Jane—only—only of late—I began to see and acknowledge the hand of God in my doom。 I began to experience remorse； repentance； the wish for reconcilement to my Maker。 I began sometimes to pray： very brief prayers they were； but very sincere。
“Some days since： nay； I can number them—four； it was last Monday night； a singular mood came over me： one in which grief replaced frenzy—sorrow； sullenness。 I had long had the impression that since I could nowhere find you； you must be dead。 Late that night— perhaps it might be between eleven and twelve o’clock—ere I retired to my dreary rest； I supplicated God； that； if it seemed good to Him； I might soon be taken from this life； and admitted to that world to e； where there was still hope of rejoining Jane。
“I was in my own room； and sitting by the window； which was open： it soothed me to feel the balmy night…air； though